


Hard Sometimes

by KureKai_King



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:22:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KureKai_King/pseuds/KureKai_King
Summary: "I try to be happy but it's hard sometimes"Wataru plasters on that fake smile every morning when he wakes. Goes about his day and smiling like a light in the dark.But...where's his own when he needs it?
Relationships: Goryo Yuto & Kikyo Rio & Matoba Wataru & Nanahoshi Ren & Shiroishi Banri
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Hard Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this based on the song Hard Sometimes by Ruel and just thought it would be a change to write some angst. I love my fluff so it's still here but, hey, I like to switch up my writing now and then

Another fake smile for the day ahead.

Another day of running around in the chaos and being the light that everyone needs for their dark time.

It's his role, isn't it? When his friends are feeling down and he simply just needs to smile and brighten their day once more. They smile back, pat his shoulders, give him a hug of gratitude and yet there's no one there for him when he needs all that he does for them.

They don't mean to ignore it, he knows, it's his choice that he refuses to show it. Refuses to show that invisible scarring that simply is beyond skin deep. How can he show it when he needs to be there for them? His problems are miniscule in comparison. 

The further they go though, the harder it becomes to hide it all. The harder it becomes to carry that smile and that light for them all.

When Ren started to lose his voice, he was there.

When Banri was fretting about finances, he was there.

When Rio was struggling to come up with a new composition, he was there.

When Yuto was constantly breaking guitar strings during practice, he was there.

He couldn't be there for himself though. He simply had to be happy and be there for everyone else. He wasn't allowed to praise himself for his efforts. He wasn't allowed to accept the praise from others without laughing it off as a silly joke or mistake. 

Was he being selfish for keeping his problems a secret? Or would he be selfish for wanting someone to tend to him for once?

He began to feel distant from his friend. From the world. The world that would keep spinning no matter what he said or did. So he just let the world spin and blindly followed the rest.

His world was becoming darker and more empty. 

He knew it wasn't right and yet it still felt right.

His eyes shone with what little light was left in them when his friends came home from their workplaces that night and he opened his mouth at last.

"I want to leave. I have to leave. I...need to leave".

But the words that came out where a lie.

Of course he didn't want to leave! His friends were his family now! It wasn't right if one of them left the other four behind, no matter the reason.

"What?" Banri was first to speak and the sound felt like it pierced his ears.

"What are you talking about?" Rio's voice sounded harsh to him (it wasn't, it was anything but).

"Did something happen?" _Yes, Ren. Something happened._

"...Wataru...are you okay...?" Yuto's words came crashing down in a waterfall attempting to drown him and he struggled to swim to the surface, to escape the beating current of the water that filled his lungs and choked his throat.

He dropped to his knees there and then as they buckled beneath him and he cradled his face in his hands, bitter tears streaming from his eyes. 

_Are you okay?_ **...No.**

Someone had asked that question before - they'd all asked a million and one times before like it was just something natural to say when he saw someone. Each time his answer had been a lie. And now his guarded wall was finally being broken. This is what he'd wanted, wasn't it? So, why did it hurt so much?

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Another on his knee. An arm around his other shoulder. A hand rubbing at his back.

And all he could do was cry. He felt pathetic.

"Wataru... It's alright. It's okay..."

He shook his head, "I try to be happy but it's hard sometimes... I don't want to be alone..."

Yuto's voice whispered close to his ear, "It's okay to not be okay... You're not alone, we'll always be here. We each love you in our own way... Count on us like we always count on you!"

"I suppose that's been part of the problem, huh Matoba? We've been counting on you so much and not seeing how much you needed us".

"Rio-kun has a point. We've been getting fretful over such dumb things and yet all this time..."

"Wataru...? We're sorry..." Ren's voice sounded so timid, so broken and he felt awful.

He cried harder, eventually gripping onto Yuto's jacket when the guitarist pulled him into a hug and stroked his hair soothingly. 

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry...!" he wailed into Yuto's chest.

"There's nothing to apologise for, Matoba".

"Yeah, nothing at all!"

"We're going to do better for you!"

Yuto's breath was at his ear again, "See? When you're not okay, just come and find us. We'll be there for you..."

He shuddered out a breath between his sobbing. It hurt his chest so much.

But yet...he finally felt freer of his chains.

_You're going to be okay._

_We're going to be okay..._


End file.
